


Bless the Fall

by TragicLove



Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-10-23 00:51:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17673269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TragicLove/pseuds/TragicLove
Summary: Taylor has spent his whole life doing what was expected of him, making sure everyone around him was happy, but eventually the pressure to keep up the facade and his own unhappiness proves to be too much for him to carry. In the span of one day he leaves behind everything he's ever known, hoping he'll figure out who he really is and find his own happiness for once. He just hopes the outcome is worth the fall.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic started from a prompt I was given and spiraled from there. It was originally meant to be a one shot, but here we are. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> The prompt was:  
> Everyone has that voice in their head. That’s only one of them, the strongest one. The weaker ones are quieted, but are still there. What happens when our characters strongest voice gives up and the next takes over?
> 
>  
> 
> Big thanks to xhorizen and HarperJean for reading this first chapter ahead of time and encouraging me to keep going! I appreciate y'all endlessly.

_You’re doing the right thing. You’re living the life you’re supposed to be living. This is right. For the kids, for her, for the band. This is right._

These words sounded in Taylor’s mind almost every single day. Loud and in command, confident that they were true, sure that they were saying the things that he felt, his convictions and his surety. 

_But, what about you?_ It came quieter, less sure. It wasn’t quite as confident and it wasn’t even his voice. _When will you do something to make yourself happy?_

_I’m happy,_ Taylor would think. _I’m doing the one thing I really love and making a living for it, I have great kids, a great family, I have a wife who would die for me. I’m happy._

He’d think the words, the same ones all of the time, and he’d convince himself. Every thing had worked out the way it was supposed to for him, his life might as well had been following a blueprint that his parents had drew up for him before he was even born. He was doing every thing exactly the right way, moving through life and doing all of the thing she was supposed to do. Taylor was happy. 

_Are you?_ That quieter voice would ask. Usually late at night, sleep deprived and at the end of another endless, long day. _Are you happy?_

——

“Taylor.”

He was staring down at his laptop, looking at the lyrics he’d recently typed in, words smashed together taken off of a folded up piece of notebook paper he’d shoved in his coat pocket on the way out the door this morning. He hated every single one of them. Each word was looking up at him as if it were mocking him, telling him that he’d written this, and it was pure shit.

“Taylor!”

He turned his head to see Zac sitting in the rolling office chair, his own laptop balancing on his lap. 

“What?”

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for, like, five minutes. Where were you?” Zac picked his laptop up and placed it on the desktop by the larger computer they used while they were recording. They’d been waiting for Isaac to show up for over an hour, they were supposed to record some tracks for the upcoming members EP, but the only thing Taylor really wanted to do at that moment was stand up, toss his MacBook in the trash, and leave. 

“Nowhere,” Taylor ran a hand over his face and then shut the laptop, placing it on the desktop. “It’s just not working.” _It hasn’t been working for a long time._

“Put it away for something else, try again tomorrow,” Zac shrugged, spinning his chair around slowly before placing his feet back on the floor and looking at Taylor. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Taylor nodded, leaning back and sliding the beanie that was perched on his head off. He turned it between his hands for a few seconds before putting it back on. _Just tell him,_ his head said. _Just say the words._

“Sorry I’m late!” Isaac burst into the studio, his long pea coat trailing behind him like a cape. He was holding a tray, two coffees and a Red Bull, a green scarf wrapped around his neck. “Who died?” He stopped moving, looking between Zac and Taylor, his forehead knotting up in confusion.

“Taylor’s creativity,” Zac stood up, plucking the Red Bull from the tray. “Thanks.”

“Yikes,” Isaac said, lifting one of the coffees out of the tray and handing it to Taylor before taking his own coffee out and tossing the tray into the trash bin. “Writers block?” He shrugged out of his coat, hanging it on the rack by the door, his scarf next.

“Something like that,” Taylor sighed, taking a long sip of his coffee. _Even this isn’t enough to improve the mood._

“So, what song are we working on today?” Isaac moved across the small space, sitting down in his chair and turning to the computer. “I think that one Zac started telling us about the other day might be a-”

“I can’t,” Taylor huffed, pushing himself out of his chair. “I’m not in the headspace for this today. I have to-”

“What are you _talking_ about?” Zac screwed up his face and shook his head. “Sit down, you’re not leaving.”

_Just tell them,_ his head said again, louder this time. _Tell them it’s not working anymore. Rip the bandaid off._

“Guys, I-” _Do the right thing._ It was louder, drowning out his sudden courage. _This is what you’re supposed to be doing. You’re happy._ “You’re right,” he sighed, lowering himself back into his chair. “Let’s work on that song. It’s a good choice.

——

“Long day?” Natalie asked as they stood on opposite sides of the bed, turning down the sheets.

“Yeah,” Taylor sighed, climbing in. “I don’t know whats wrong with me. I can’t write a damn thing, I can barely play. They’re going to get sick of me soon.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Natalie smiled softly, climbing into bed beside him. “It’s just a rough patch, it happens sometimes.”

“Maybe,” Taylor replied. _Maybe I’m the one who is sick of it._

Natalie let out a soft sigh as she settled down on her pillow, her dark hair fanning out around her head. Taylor knew her days were long, he might work hard, but he was nothing compared to her. _So then why can’t you love her?_ Taylor closed his eyes, a lead ball forming in his throat. _I do love her. I’ve always loved her._

Natalie was the best woman he’d ever known. She was a perfect, natural mother. She was the best life partner any man could ever ask for. She dealt with all of the hardships they’d had come at them over their life together without even breaking a sweat. 

“Night, Tay,” Natalie whispered. He could hear in her voice that she was already practically asleep. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” he turned away from her, praying sleep would take him as easily as it would her. Maybe he could just forget his fucked up life, his fucked up head telling him fucked up things, for just a few hours.

_You love her. Just not the way you’re supposed to._

——

Suddenly it was cold. And bright.

Whoever was opening the shades was doing it loudly enough to wake a small village. 

“What the fuck,” Taylor mumbled, rubbing his eyes before opening them. How’d the comforter get tossed to the floor?

“What the fuck, indeed,” Zac’s voice shook Taylor fully awake, his head turning in the direction of where he’d just finished opening up the last window shade, his back to Taylor. He turned around and crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at where Taylor was still sprawled out on his back. “It’s one in the afternoon.”

“So?” 

“So, you were supposed to be at the office at eleven-thirty,” Zac walked towards the bed. “Get up, we’ve been waiting for you.”

“I can’t today,” _I don’t want to. Any day._ “I’m exhausted.” _Exhausted from pretending. Exhausted from acting like I want this anymore._

“Look, you’re lucky it was me who came over here to find you still curled up in bed. Isaac is seconds from going ape shit, we’re supposed to have this EP finished next week and we haven’t even laid down one track. You need to get up and take a shower, I’ll go put on some coffee.”

“Zac,” Taylor sighed, sitting up. _Get up, Taylor. Get up and do your job. This is what you’re supposed to do._ “Can I just…can you give me a minute?”

“No,” Zac grabbed Taylor’s arm and pulled him off the bed so he was standing. “No, I can’t. Do you want to be axe murdered by your older brother? Because that’s what’s going to happen if I don’t get you to the office. Let’s _go,_ Taylor.”

Taylor shook his arm from Zac’s grip and sighed, walking over to his closet. _Just tell him. Tell him it’s not for you anymore. The magic is gone._ He pulled out a fresh change of clothes and tossed them into the bathroom, heading to his dresser to grab underwear and socks.

“I’ll put on the coffee,” Zac said from the door. “Nat ran the kids to my house, they’re having a play date.”

“That’s nice,” Taylor said, ruffling through his drawer. “That’ll be fun for them.”

“I think we’ll really make headway on at least this one song, today. I was up late writing it, once it started coming it just all ran out of me.”

“That’s great, Zac.”

_That’s how it should be for you. This is what you love doing. You can write like that, too._

_But, do you want to?_

Taylor moved for the bathroom, aware that Zac hadn’t moved yet. He wondered if he was going to stand there until he heard the water start up, not trusting Taylor to get into the shower without someone watching.

“Isaac is really excited about his song, too,” Zac spoke again. “We’ve got to get you a couple of leads, it wouldn’t be a members EP without-”

“I don’t want to do this, Zac,” Taylor stopped walking right inside the bathroom, his entire body stiffening. _You didn’t mean to say that._

“What?” 

_You said it. You told him._

“I just - it’s -” Taylor stammered, turning to face Zac _You can’t take it back now._ “I don’t want to do it anymore,” his shoulders rose and fell pathetically. He was sure if he could look at himself in a mirror right then he’d hate what he saw looking back at him. He felt like a little boy, scared, unsure of himself. 

“Make the EP? We have to make it, Tay, the fans are expecting-”

“The band, Zac. I don’t want to…do it anymore.”

“What are you saying?” Zac’s eyes were wide and his voice was tentative, like he wasn’t sure how to speak to Taylor in that moment. 

“I’m saying,” Taylor shrugged again, shaking his head. “I’m…um. I -” _Say the words and then it’s all over. You can do this._ “I quit. You guys should continue on without me, but…it’s over for me. Hanson is over for me.”

Taylor walked further into the bathroom, shutting the door on the conversation. He knew it wouldn’t be that easy, but he didn’t have it in him to argue with Zac about this, not then. Not before a shower and maybe a gallon of coffee. He wasn’t sure he’d have it in him, even then.

——

When Taylor walked down to the kitchen after his shower, he wasn’t surprised to see Isaac sitting on one of the high bar stools by the counter, Zac standing across from him. By the looks of it, Taylor had caught them mid-conversation.

Taylor just looked at them and then walked over to the coffee pot, glad that Zac had followed through on his promise to start it. He poured himself a large cup, skipping the cream and sugar. The day he was about to have called for something a little harder, he thought. It was silent as he took a sip out of his mug, but he could feel all eyes on him, despite the fact that he was looking at the fridge like there was something interesting on it. As soon as he took the mug from his lips, the volume turned up in the room.

“We should talk about this,” came from Zac’s mouth at the same time Isaac let out, “what the fuck do you mean Hanson is over for you?”

Taylor sighed, walking towards the counter and placing his mug down on it. He looked from Zac to Isaac and then picked the mug back up, taking a long sip.

“Speak,” Isaac said, his voice and face sharp. 

“What do you want me to say?” Taylor asked, placing the mug back down. “I’ve said what I had to, there isn’t anything else-”

“Fuck that!” Isaac slammed his hand down on the counter top, causing Taylor to flinch. “You don’t get to do that. You’re saying something that would effect us, me, my family…my _children!_ You don’t get to make a sweeping proclamation about our futures and then think you don’t need to talk about it!”

_He’s right. There is a lot at stake here. You can’t just turn away from your responsibilities._

Taylor just stared at Isaac for a few seconds, his fingers lightly around the coffee mug he’d placed on the counter. He didn’t know how to answer him, or even if he wanted to. All he knew was that now that he said the words, now that he’d taken the leap, he didn’t want to go back. He dropped his eyes down to the counter, trying to find the most diplomatic way to tell Isaac that no matter how this conversation in his kitchen went today, for him, the band was over. 

“Say _something_!” Isaac seethed, Taylor’s eyes jumping back up to his face. His lips were in such a thin line you’d almost think they weren’t there anymore. It almost looked like he was going to start shooting fire out of his eyes at any moment. 

“What do you want me to say, Ike?” Taylor sighed. He looked back down into his coffee mug, hoping that maybe something would appear there, something to fix his problems.

“I want you to tell me - us - what could possibly be so bad that you would leave us in the learch? How could you do this to us?”

“How could I-” Taylor shook his head, looking slowly back up at Isaac. “My whole life. My whole, entire life, Isaac…I have been doing things for other people. From the first day my fingers touched a single key on the piano, to the day we signed that god damn contract, to the day…” Taylor trailed off. _Just say it, admit the words to yourself._ “To the day I got married. I’ve never done a god damn thing for me.”

“And this is how you do something for you? Ruin us in the process?”

Taylor could feel Zac’s eyes moving in between him and Isaac, silently observing their back and forth. It surprised him, if he were honest, that he wasn’t being more vocal. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to thank him or scream at him to speak up. Stand up from him, make it feel like he wasn’t always so god damn alone. 

“You guys will be fine. Continue on without me. It’s no secret that my voice is almost in the shitter, anyway. Besides, all three of us know that if we never worked another day we’d live comfortable lives.”

“That’s not the point,” Isaac shouted. “We all know that there is no Hanson without you. Sure, it might work for a little while, but the fans would tire of it really quick. You’re pushing us into forced retirement!”

_He’s right. You can’t be so selfish. These are your brothers. Your family. You have to do the right thing._

“Isaac, I-”

“Why don’t you take some time to think about it,” Zac finally spoke up, pushing himself up from his place where he was leaning on the counter. “We probably shouldn’t do this with emotions running so high, we know better.”

Taylor nodded, looking over at Isaac with what he hoped were pleading eyes. _Maybe if you just think on it you’ll figure out that this is still what you love. Music is who you are._

“Zac’s right,” Taylor sighed. “Maybe we should talk later.”

“Fine,” Isaac pushed his stool back and stood up. “But not on your time. This isn’t something we can wait three months to sort out,” he walked towards the door, Zac following behind him. “Tomorrow, at the office. Noon.”

Taylor nodded his head, watching as Isaac turned the doorknob and pushed the door open for Zac to walk out ahead of him. He turned to look back at Taylor, his face painted with disappointment. 

“You can’t just leave us without a paddle, Tay.”

_But what about you? Put yourself first._

Isaac turned to leave, his shaking head looking at the ground in front of him.

“I’m not going to change my mind,” Taylor said, before he could stop himself. “I’m done with the band.”

The slam of the door was Isaac’s only response.

——

The rest of the day was spent in a pool of self pity and loathing. One side of Taylor screaming at him that he was doing the wrong thing, betraying the people closest to him, and he needed to get his shit together and make things right, the other side pushing him further down the path of independence, egging him on, telling him that he was doing the right thing. For him, for once.

Natalie could feel the tension radiating off of Taylor from the moment she’d walked in the door from the kids playdate with Zac’s kids, so she’d taken it upon herself to allow him to lock himself up in his office while she handled dinner and baths and bedtime, only pushing the door open at close to midnight. She walked slowly across the room, sitting gently on the edge of the desk, smiling softly down at where Taylor was sitting.

“You okay?”

“Been better,” Taylor looked up at her. She was almost exactly the same as the day he’d met her. Sure, she was older, she’d lived much more of a life since then, but all of the things that had drawn him to her were still there. 

“Kate told me,” she frowned. “Do you think maybe we should have discussed this before I heard it from my sister-in-law?”

“There’s nothing to discuss,” Taylor sighed, sitting back in his chair. “I should have talked to you, told you what I was thinking,” he shook his head. “But, it’s over for me, Nat. It’s been over for a long time. I can’t bare another day of faking it for the sake of money. It’s not worth it anymore.”

“If that’s really what you want, I’m behind you, you know that,” Natalie reached forward and pushed Taylor’s hair back and out of his face, letting her hand linger in his hair for a second. “You should be happy, Taylor.”

They looked at each other for a moment before Taylor reached forward with both arms, his hands strong on her hips. He pulled her across the desk so she was sitting facing him, her legs on either side of him.

“Are you disappointed in me?”

“Oh, honey,” she smiled, letting both of her hands get lost in his hair. “I’m always so proud of you. I know you wouldn’t do this unless you thought it was absolutely the right thing.”

“You’re proud of me?”

“Always,” she nodded. 

_We were really in love once, weren’t we?_ Taylor thought. _Maybe once,_ he shook his head, not wanting to hear any more. _But not anymore._

Taylor leaned forward, moving his hand to the back of Natalie’s neck and dragging her face down to his. He kissed her the way he remembered kissing her before. Before they were older and more weary, when they weren’t so tired all the time. Tired from all of the things they had to do or from all of the things that came along with their life, Taylor wasn’t sure. 

Her hands moved from his hair to his shoulders, her delicate hands clutching the fabric of his shirt and pulling him towards her. He stood, wedging himself between her legs, as close to her as he could get. _This is it,_ his hands slid underneath her skirt, his fingers sliding underneath the waistband of her underwear, backing up enough to pull them off of her, never breaking their kiss. _This is the end. She knows it, too._

She pulled back and looked down, watching her hands as they unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down. She looked back up at him and smiled, but he knew her well, maybe better than he knew himself, and her smile was laced with sadness, a bittersweet edge that it was too late to repair. 

“We don’t have to-” Taylor whispered, Natalie shaking her head and putting a finger to his lips.

“I’ve known,” she said quietly, pulling him back in between her legs. “For a long time, I’ve known that your heart isn’t here anymore. I don’t think we were built to last,” she smiled sadly again. “But we played a good hand. Let’s end this the way we started it.”

Taylor let out a noise somewhere between a sob and a sigh and buried his face in the crook of her neck, breathing in her sweet scent as she pulled him into her, her legs wrapping around his waist. 

_We were always good at this,_ Taylor thought as he moved inside of her, cursing himself for the tears that were leaking out of his closed eyes. They made love in complete silence, only bouts of heavy breaths sounding around them. When they finished they stayed still for a while, foreheads pressed together, until Natalie pulled back, taking his face in both of her hands and kissing him.

“It might feel like you’re leaving everything you know today,” she smiled, pulling back. “But it just means that someday soon you’ll have the things you should have had to begin with.”

He stood there and watched her hop off the desk, smooth out her hair. She smiled back at him as she let herself out of the room, shutting the door on her way out.

_You’ve done it._ He shook his head, digging the palms of his hands into his eyes. _You’re free._


	2. Chapter 2

**Three Months Later**

The first realization that hit Taylor as he stirred from sleep was that he was naked. The second realization came as he opened one eye, taking in the mint green curtains and then the plush, similarly colored comforter that was pulled around his naked body. He had no idea where he was.

Eyes closed again. _What did you do? Why do you do these things? You know it’s not right._ This wasn’t the first time he’d woken up in a bed that didn’t belong to him, unsure of how he’d gotten there or with whom he’d gotten there with. It always came back to him, sometimes it just took longer than other times. 

He gathered up his clothes and pulled them on, sitting back down on the edge of the bed and sighing.

_You’re single. You’re still relatively young. You’re just living the life you never got to live the first time around. You’re a bachelor now. This is how it’s supposed to be._

The divorce was quick and painless. Finalized almost as soon as it was filed for. Natalie took what she was owed from their prenup as well as a reasonable amount of child support, both of which she deserved, and hadn’t asked for anything else. He’d offered to give her the house, but she refused, using a large chunk of the money she’d gotten in their settlement to pay cash on her own home. She was still the best friend he’d ever had and he still thanked God for her every single day.

His split from the band hadn’t gone nearly as smooth. In fact, it was still going on. Battle after battle, Isaac taking lead in the fight of 3CG vs. Taylor Hanson. Isaac didn’t miss an opportunity to let Taylor know that if he’d just reconsider, come back down to reality and resume their work, all of this would go away. Everything would go back to normal.

The fans hadn’t taken it well, and they still weren’t. Always a man with the best timing, their annual Hanson Day gathering had already been scheduled when Taylor had made the proclamation that he was done with the band. Zac had drafted a statement, loaded it up on their website, basically telling the fans that due to unforeseen circumstances, Hanson Day was cancelled and the band was taking an indefinite hiatus. Taylor had read the post, scoffing down at his phone. He wanted to shout at Zac to call it what it was. Over.

What Isaac and the fans, and even Zac, didn’t seem to understand was that Taylor would rather fight Isaac for the rest of his life, lose every thing he’d ever gained from Hanson and 3CG, have every single fan they’d ever made hate him, than waste another day - another minute - living a life he felt had become a lie.

_Is this life any more honest? Hopping from bed to bed. Looking for something you’ll probably never find? Hanson is your life. Go back and fulfill the things you were meant to._

Taylor found himself constantly swatting away thoughts of backpedaling. Succumbing to the pressure that was all around him and tucking himself back into his old life. He knew he didn’t want it, his head had different thoughts. Until that other part of him kicked in, sometimes seemingly out of nowhere, reminding him that this was what he wanted, that he needed to live for him. He’d spent the best years of his life being completely selfless to give everyone around him what they wanted, when did it become his turn to be happy? If not now, then when?

Taylor sat up in the unfamiliar bed, rubbing his eyes before looking around the room. Slowly memories from the night before started shifting into focus. He’d been out at a bar he’d been frequenting, chatting to a friend he hadn’t seen in years. Midnight rolled around and his friend grudgingly left, explaining he needed to get some sleep before his kids were up at seven in the morning. A flash of grief had ran through Taylor at that, he’d spent years wishing his house could be just a little quieter in the early mornings and now most days he’d spent his time wishing that his kids were there to bring a little noise to the place. Minutes later the empty seat was filled, a pretty girl Taylor hadn’t seen before smiling bashfully at him before looking over at the bartender and asking for two shots of tequila and an Old Fashioned.

“Phew,” Taylor had whistled. “Those are some strong choices.”

“Rough day,” she’d shot him a quick look before slamming back one of the shots, banging the empty shot glass down onto the bar top and then repeating the motion with the second shot. She scrunched up her face and shook her head quickly, letting out a harsh breath before taking a large gulp of the Old Fashioned.

“Wow,” Taylor chuckled, his eyebrows high on his forehead. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really,” she mumbled, looking at him out of the corner of her eye before signaling the bartender for two more shots.

“Make that four,” he’d raised his hand and smiled at the bartender before turning back to her. “You’ve inspired me.”

“Rough day for you too?” She mumbled over the lip of her Old Fashioned. Taylor couldn’t explain his sudden urge to have her look at him again, but it was there, itching on the inside of his brain. He hadn’t caught what color her eyes were and something told him he had to find out.

“Rough year, more like,” Taylor watched as the bartender set down four shot glasses in front of them and quickly poured the tequila into them.

“Wanna talk about it?” She echoed his question and he grinned, looking over at her, their eyes connecting for the first time. Hazel.

“No,” he laughed.

She picked up one of the shot glasses and held it up in between them.

“Cheers to that.”

They talked and drank for the next couple of hours, Taylor finding out that her name was Layla, she was just about to turn thirty, she was a recent transplant to Tulsa, moving there from Vermont, and most importantly to him, she didn’t seem to have a single clue who he was. 

The bartender made the announcement for last call, shouting out that they didn’t have to go home, but they couldn’t stay there, and Layla let out a snort, turning to Taylor and rolling her eyes.

“Is that like, in the bartender by-laws? They have to say that every time it’s time to close up shop?”

“It might be,” Taylor laughed, taking his wallet out as the bartender made his way over to them. 

He placed two bills face down on the counter in front of them, Taylor scooping them both up quickly and holding them and his credit card out to him.

“I can pay for my own drinks,” Layla shook her head, reaching for the bills.

“I’m sure you can, but you’re not going to.”

The bartender took them and quickly returned, slapping two copies of each and pen down in front of Taylor. He scribbled a generous tip on each slip and pushed them towards the back of the bar top, standing up and turning to Layla.

“This was fun, I’m glad you waltzed in here tonight.”

“Yeah,” she grinned, standing and pulling her jacket on.

“Maybe we can do it again sometime?” Taylor lead her out of the bar, his hand on the small of her back. Once they got outside she turned to him, her eyes scanning over her face. She seemed to be tossing something around in her mind and then in a second a smile spread across her face and she motioned towards a car parked by the curb.

“How does now sound?”

 

“Hey,” a quiet voice at the door shook Taylor out of his thoughts and he looked up, taking Layla in. She was in faded sweatpants and a t-shirt, her long blonde hair piled up in a bun on the top of her head. 

“Hey,” he said, pushing his hair back and standing up. “I hope I-”

“There’s coffee,” she cut him off, motioning behind her. “In the kitchen. And, um. Bagels…if you like bagels?”

_You should go. It’s too soon to start something. She’s not even your type. Get up and leave, say thank you and walk out the door._

“I, um-” Taylor looked around the room quickly, spotting his wallet on the dresser. He grabbed it and shoved it in his back pocket. “I think I should…”

_Stay. She likes you. You like her. See where this goes._

“It’s okay,” she said, a small smile on her face. “I get it.”

“It’s just that-”

“No need to explain,” she waved her hand in the air. “Last night was fun. Maybe I’ll see you again sometime.”

She turned and walked out of the room, leaving Taylor standing there cursing himself. He followed her out into the kitchen and watched her tinker around, tossing things into the sink, shutting the coffee pot off. She didn’t quite meet his eyes when he said goodbye.

——

**7 New Voicemails**

_Taylor, could you call me back at the office when you get this? Thanks._

_Tay, I need you to give me a call, it’s kind of important. Like, ASAP._

_Look. You can’t just keep ignoring me. We have business to take care of. I need you to call me, Taylor._

_If you don’t call me back within the hour I’m coming to your house. You can’t avoid this forever. Classic Taylor, do whatever his little heart sees fit and leave every one else to pick up the pieces. I’m tired of cleaning up your god damn messes, Tay. Call. Me._

_Tay? Uh, it’s Zac. Isaac - um - he’s been calling you and he’s about to jump off the deep end over here. You gotta call us back, I’m not going to be able to keep him at bay much longer. Call me if you don’t want to call him, okay? Just…just call one of us._

_Me again. I talked Isaac down for now. But, um. I need you to call by tomorrow or he’s going over there. He’s really had it, Tay. We have to tie up these loose ends. We need to make a statement to the fans, figure out where things are going from here…figure out how we’re going to go about buying you out of your shares…it’s just…it’s all a mess, Tay. I need you to call us, okay? Just. Just call by tomorrow._

_I just wanted to let you know…I miss you, Tay. I - um - I really miss my brother. And I could use you right about now. That’s it. Bye, Tay._

——

The banging is what woke Taylor up, his body jerking violently, sitting straight up and looking around the room for something to defend himself against the obvious burglar who was fighting their way into his home. By the time his eyes fell on the guitar in the corner of the room and he’d resigned himself to the fact that he’d have to smash it over the guys head, his bedroom door was flying open, bouncing off of the wall and then being thrown open again.

“Get up!” Isaac shouted, ripping the covers off of his lap. “Get up, Taylor!”

“What the fuck?” Taylor responded, grabbing for the covers again, but Isaac ripped them completely off the bed, throwing them on the floor.

“Get up! Before I get you up!”

“Ike,” Taylor’s eyes moved to the door where Zac was standing, his eyes flitting between Isaac and Taylor. “Go easy.”

“No,” Isaac looked back at Zac and then back at Taylor. “Get the fuck out of bed, Taylor. It’s after noon. I left you voicemails, plural! Why haven’t you called me back?”

“Because I didn’t want to?” Taylor swung his legs over the end of the bed and stood up, crossing his arms. “I don’t owe you anything.”

“Oh, I think you do,” Isaac snarled. “I think you really do. You’re upending all of our fucking lives and here you are, sleeping yours away!”

“I’m fine,” Taylor huffed, walking to the bathroom and slamming the door shut. He could hear Zac murmuring to Isaac, no doubt telling him to calm down, to talk it out. Judging by Isaac’s harsh sounding whispers back, Taylor was sure he disagreed completely with Zac’s suggestion. 

Taylor took his time washing his face, brushing his hair and teeth. He’s begun to think about how it would be okay if he spent the whole day in the bathroom when there was a soft knock at the door. He ignored it, turning the water on harder, washing his hands despite the fact that they didn’t really need it.

“Tay,” another soft knock. “It’s me, open the door.”

Taylor shut the water off and leaned on the sink, hanging his head forward. 

_Open the door. He’s your brother. He loves you. You’re letting every one down._

Another knock, “Tay, Isaac went downstairs. It’s just me. Open the door,” a few beats went by, and then his voice came through softer. “Please.”

Taylor stood up and walked over to the door, staring down at the knob for a few seconds. 

_It’s so easy. Just unlock the door. Let him in. Let him help you._

Taylor put his palm flat on the door, resting his forehead on the wooden surface. It would be so easy. Just open the door, let Zac talk to him, smooth out all the wrinkles in his head. They could get to work again, make their next album. Maybe Taylor would even fall in love with music again. The fans would be happy. His brothers would be happy. Everyone would be happy.

_Except you. You wouldn’t be happy. Don’t let them talk to you into it, you’re finally free._

“Okay, Tay,” Zac said softly. “I’m here when you’re ready. Just call me.”

Zac’s footsteps retreated from the bedroom, getting quieter and quieter the further away they got. 

_Idiot. You should have opened the door._

Taylor sighed, unlocked the door, pulled it open. He took one step out of the bathroom, freezing when the slam of the front door shook the house. 

_You’ll run them right out of your life. Is that what you want?_

Taylor dropped his head into his hands and sighed.

_Maybe it is. Maybe everyone would be better off that way._


	3. Chapter 3

A week went by and Taylor didn’t find himself fighting against warring consciouses inside of his head. Every thing in his life was blissfully silent, still…empty.

He didn’t leave the house, he barely left the bedroom, showering only when he couldn’t take the oppression of his own filth anymore. 

It was two days past a week when Taylor decided that he had to get up. He had to do something about the state that he was in, come hell or high water, he needed to clean up his act, find something to fulfill him, make himself into someone his kids could be proud of. So, he’d pulled himself out of bed, showered and shaved, made himself what he hoped was presentable and got in his car. 

He drove around downtown for a while, not really sure what he was looking for. When he passed the studio, he could see his brothers cars parked out front and he frowned, considering for a moment that he could just pull his car into the spot beside Zac’s, walk into the office and tell them that he’d changed his mind. He’d lived the free life and now he was back, and he’d be better than ever.

But, he knew that that wasn’t true. He’d missed a lot of things about his old life over the last few months, but the band wasn’t one of them. He didn’t miss the late nights with the three of them shoved into the studio, arguing about a lyric or a hook, exhaustion making them snippier than they might have been otherwise. He didn’t miss feeling like spending time with his brothers was nothing more than a job, wishing that they’d just be out of his space for a while. He missed them, but not that. He just wanted them to be normal, for once in their lives. They didn’t even know what normal was.

Taylor rounded the block and pulled his car into a space in front of the bar he’d been frequenting. He stepped out, shutting the door behind him, making a split second decision before he even knew he was doing it. He clicked the button to lock the car and pulled the heavy door to the bar open, stepping inside and blinking to adjust his eyes to the darker atmosphere. There were a couple of people smattered at tables, a couple at the bar, but it was almost empty at this time of day. He’d never been inside when it wasn’t night time and packed, it almost looked like a different place. He walked to the bar, dropping his keys on the counter top and sliding onto a stool, tapping his fingers.

“Pretty early to be seeing you in here,” the bartender - Harry, Taylor had learned over the weeks he’d been coming in - grinned, drawing the rag in his hand over the already clean bar top. “Your usual?”

“No,” Taylor shook his head, grinning. “I was actually…well, I was wondering. Do you have any openings?”

“What do you mean, you guys want to play a tiny bar like this? Isn’t that under your pay grade?”

“No,” Taylor shook his head again. “No, I mean. Well, I guess it probably didn’t make the major news broadcasts…” Taylor rolled his eyes. “The band is, um. We’ve decided to part ways, and if I keep locking myself in my house every day I’m going to lose my mind. I’ve been working since I was a kid, I don’t know how to not work, so I was-”

“You want to work here?” Harry laughed, tossing his rag down. “Seriously?”

“I mean,” Taylor shrugged. “Yeah?”

“Why the fuck would you want to do that?” Harry turned around and grabbed a bottle of whiskey off the shelf, slapping two shot glasses down on the bar top. He filled them and pushed one towards Taylor. “If you’re talking about trading in your cushy rockstar lifestyle to be a bartender, I think you might need one…or a dozen…of these.”

Taylor laughed, picking up the shot glass and clinking it together with Harry’s. They tipped them back, dropping them onto the bar.

“I don’t usually start my afternoons with shots,” Taylor breathed. “Anyway, I guess I just want to do something different,” he shrugged again. “I don’t…I’ve never done any real schooling or anything, I’m not really skilled at anything. Doesn’t everyone work in this kind of industry at least once in their lives? Maybe I just want to experience the things that I’ve missed.”

“Well,” Harry leaned his hands on the counter and looked Taylor over. “You’re in luck, I just had a guy quit this week. I’ve been pulling doubles here all week to cover his shifts, if you want it, the job is yours.”

“Really?” Taylor grinned, sitting up straight. 

“Yeah,” Harry laughed, shaking his head. “Your enthusiasm is…I was going to say cute, but it’s actually weird as shit.”

Taylor let out a loud laugh, throwing his head back a little. It was the first time he’d really laughed in weeks and it felt good, once he finished he found himself wanting more of that feeling. More happy. 

“Alright, two more shots to celebrate,” Harry said, refilling the shot glasses and pushing Taylor’s back to him. “When do you want to start?”

Taylor picked up his glass and tilted his head to the side, “how about tonight?” He put the shot glass to his mouth and poured the liquid down his throat, slamming the glass down on the counter and smiling at his new boss. “No better time than now.”

——

Taylor had been working in the bar for two weeks when Isaac and Zac walked in around 9 PM. They both stopped in front of the bar top, Zac’s eyes widened, Isaac’s drawn together. Taylor stopped wiping the counter and slung his rag over his shoulder, putting a hand on his hip.

“Can I get you guys something?”

“You’re fucking joking,” Isaac lifted an eyebrow. “What the hell is going on?”

“I’ve recently changed jobs,” Taylor swung his arm out, motioning around the bar. “Would you like something?”

“You’re bartending?” Zac shook his head and settled onto a bar stool in front of Taylor. “Why are you bartending?”

“I was going crazy sitting at home so I got a job,” Taylor shrugged. “ _Do you want something?_ ”

“Uh, yeah,” Zac looked over Taylor’s shoulder then back at him. “Just…just a beer, I guess. Bottle, not draft.”

“And you?” Taylor turned to Isaac.

“Whiskey. On the rocks,” Isaac’s eyebrow was still high on his forehead, his eyes locked on Taylor. “You know, you have a job that’s a bit more well paying than-”

“Had,” Taylor cut in, turning and grabbing the whiskey bottle off the counter. He made Isaac’s drink and grabbed Zac a bottle of Sam Adams, placing them in front of each of them. “I had a job. I quit, remember?”

“So you decided to become a bartender?”

“Why not? What’s wrong with being a bartender?”

“Tay, this is-”

“No,” Taylor shook his head. “We’re not doing…whatever this is. I’m at work, I can’t argue with you right now, Ike.”

“This is crazy,” Isaac mumbled, taking a sip of his drink.

“What are you guys doing here anyway? I didn’t know you came here.”

“We don’t,” Zac shrugged. “We’re meeting someone here, a, uh, local musician.”

“Rehearsing to fill my spot?” Taylor chuckled, picking up his glass of water and taking a sip.

“No,” Isaac rolled his eyes. “We’re branching out into producing, renting out the studio space for people to record. We’re thinking about signing this guy, he’s good. Real good, but he’s been turned down by a dozen labels, so we might take him on.”

“You’re signing people?” It was Taylor’s turn to raise an eyebrow. It was something they’d spent a lot of time talking about, but they’d eventually come to the conclusion that it was too much for them. They didn’t know how to run a record label or be in charge of other acts, they barely even knew how to run themselves half the time.

“We’re not making our own music, might as well help other people make theirs,” Isaac shrugged. “Besides, why do you care?”

“I don’t,” Taylor frowned. “But my name is still all over that company, I don’t want to be associated with shitty music.”

“Why would we make shitty-” Isaac sighed. “You know what, Tay? You’re ridiculous. I don’t know what this little mid-life crisis you’re going through is, but could you get over it already?”

“Buy me out,” Taylor shrugged. 

“We’re not paying you because you wanted to quit,” Isaac drained his glass and placed it a little too hard onto the bar. “You chose this, not us.”

“Ike,” Zac shook his head, holding a hand up in between them. “We can buy him out, we have the mon-”

“No!” Isaac pushed his barstool back and stood up. “I’m not giving him my money because he can’t handle his life.”

Taylor and Zac watched as Isaac threw some money down on the bar and walked out, pushing the door open as hard as he could. They looked at each other, both of them seemingly at a loss for words. 

_He’s your best friend. Say something._

Zac sighed, tipping his beer to finish it off before dropping the bottle on the counter. He dug in his pocket for his wallet and put a ten on the counter, standing up. He looked at Taylor for another second before frowning. 

“I miss you Tay,” he shrugged. “ _We_ miss you. This is all we’ve ever known, you know? And you took it…” he shook his head, his frown growing. “You took it from us, and it doesn’t even seem like you care.”

Taylor opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He watched Zac zip up his jacket, stand in front of him for a second as if he were waiting for a response. When none came he shrugged again and shook his head, his eyes dropping to the floor. 

“See you later, I guess,” he said quietly, turning and walking towards the door. 

Taylor knew that he’d been the one to leave them, he’d made the choice and cut the cord, but watching the both of them leave him then, one by one, made a feeling Taylor couldn’t quite put a name to bubble up in his chest.

——

When Taylor’s shift ended he moved from behind the bar to sitting on a stool in front of it, Harry shaking his head and lining up the shot glasses. They’d found themselves doing this most nights, a shot here, a shot there, talking about everything and nothing. It felt nice to have a friend who was removed from the life Taylor had been living for the past almost three decades, and sometimes it was easy to transition into just being another normal guy. Just a bartender at this bar that he’d grown to love working at and playing at, life finally felt easy and good, albeit missing a few things.

“Rough day?” Harry asked as he filled the shot glasses. “Beer too?”

“Make it a Jack and Coke,” Taylor nodded. 

“ _Really_ rough day, then,” Harry laughed quietly, grabbing a cup and making Taylor’s drink. 

“My brothers,” Taylor sighed, wrapping his hand around the cool glass. “They just don’t get it. Isaac is…man,” Taylor shook his head. “He’s really pissed off with me.”

“I can’t say that I get it, either,” Harry said, moving their used shot glasses to the underside of the counter, no doubt saving them away for later. “You seemed to have a cushy life. You all have been making music since you could talk, no? Why would you want to give that all up?”

“I don’t know,” Taylor sighed again, taking a long sip of his drink. “I just…my heart wasn’t in it anymore, you know? It was, for a long time, I think. But, this was never really my dream. It was my parents dream first and then it was their - Zac and Isaac’s dream. I kind of just went along with it. Somehow I became sort of the front man, and I went with it for all these years and now…now I just. I don’t know, Harry,” Taylor looked up at the other man. “I need to learn to live for me, I think? Have a life that doesn’t revolve around literally every one else’s wants and needs.”

“I get that,” Harry nodded and then nodded his head to the side a little. “Looks like that girl over there has some wants and needs she’d like you to fulfill too,” he laughed quietly. “She’s been staring at you over the top of her martini glass since she sat down.”

“Yeah?” Taylor laughed, looking over. Sure enough there was a pretty brunette sitting two tables away, looking right at him. She smiled softly and looked down at her table top when their eyes met. 

“She’s hot,” Harry said, grabbing another martini glass and crafting a cocktail in it. He slid it over to Taylor and nodded in the girls direction again. “On the house, go give it to her.”

“Are you…playing matchmaker?” Taylor grinned.

“You look like you could use some female companionship,” Harry chuckled. “Go.”

Taylor looked at the girl again, she was looking down at her phone, her thumb scrolling the screen every few seconds. He looked back at Harry and nodded.

“You know what? Screw it.” 

“Atta boy,” Harry said and Taylor rolled his eyes, walking over to the table, taking great care not to spill whatever was in the martini glass.

“Hey,” he said once he reached the side of her table, setting the glass down in front of her. “You looked like you could use a refill.”

“Oh,” she smiled up at him, placing her now empty glass down. “Thanks.”

She shut the screen of her phone and placed it face down on the table, looking up at Taylor again.

“You wanna sit?”

“Sure,” Taylor smiled and sat down in the chair across from hers. “I’m Taylor.”

“Sadie,” the girl smiled, picking up her glass and taking a small sip.

“Nice to meet you, Sadie,” Taylor leaned back in his chair, taking a sip of his own drink. “Do you come here often?”

——

Harry had kept the drinks coming for the next few hours, the small table Taylor and Sadie were sitting at filling up with empties, their chairs somehow scooting closer and closer to each others as the minutes ticked on. Somehow Sadie’s hand had made it from the stem of her martini glass to Taylor’s knee, inching up his thigh slowly as they talked and the effects of the alcohol they were consuming heightened.

He wasn’t sure who made the first move or when exactly the green light had flashed, but sometime between Sadie’s lips attaching to the soft skin of Taylor’s neck and her fingers brushing over the erection he was sporting, she’d whispered in his ear, ‘wanna get out of here?’ And he’d nodded, the thought of sliding his hands up the short skirt she was wearing blurring his vision just slightly. 

Harry had refused payment on the drinks, calling it a solid he’d done for Taylor and shooing him out of the bar. Taylor probably shouldn’t have been driving in his condition, but he’d somehow made it across town to his house, Sadie’s hands and mouth on him the entire way there. They’d barely made it into the house before she was unbuttoning his shirt, slipping it down his shoulders and letting it land on the ground. 

They’d somehow found their way to the bed, Sadie taking complete charge of the situation, dominant in ways that Taylor wasn’t used to the woman he was with being in the bedroom. She’d pushed him back on the bed and climbed on top of him, it feeling just as good as he’d imagined when he finally slid his hands up her skirt, his hands running over the lacy fabric underneath. 

It didn’t take long for what little they were still wearing to vanish, Taylor pulling a condom out of the bedside table and rolling it on, not even two seconds later, Sadie climbing back on top of him. She lowered herself onto him, throwing her head back, his name leaving her mouth in a loud moan as she did it. 

She’d ridden him, his fingertips digging into her hips, as if her life had depended on it, his name mixed in with four letter words filling the air every few seconds. She’d finished before Taylor was even halfway there, assuring him it was perfectly okay. She lifted herself off of him, unrolling the condom and tossing it on the nightstand, her mouth wrapping tightly around him. 

He came violently, his hands pulling at her hair, loud gasps of air the only sounds he could make. He couldn’t ever remember a time he’d been serviced like that, and when she dropped down onto the pillow next to him, drawing his bottom lip between her teeth, he’d already decided that tomorrow he’d make plans to see her again, but right then the only thing he could do is give in to his heavy eyes and the need to fall into a deep sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Two weeks later**

Taylor had just set down the last beer on a tray for the waitress to grab off the bar and deliver to the customer when Zac stormed up to the bar and tossed himself onto the stool in front of where Taylor was standing.

“You came in like a-”

“What the _fuck_ Taylor!?” Zac tossed his phone at Taylor, it hitting him in the chest and him catching it just before it fell to the floor. 

“What the fuck, Zac!” Taylor echoed, placing Zac’s phone down on the bar.

“No. Turn the screen on,” Zac motioned towards the phone. “Turn it on and see whats there, you idiot.”

Taylor lifted an eyebrow, shaking his head.

“What is your problem?”

“Turn the phone on and find out!” Zac pointed at the phone. “No one warned me when I saw it today, I had to just stumble on it myself.”

“Wha-”

“Turn on the fucking phone, Taylor!” Zac seethed, pushing the phone closer to Taylor. 

Taylor let out a small huff and then clicked the phone screen to life, the image that greeted him taking a few seconds to connect with his mind.

“Her fucking screen name is ‘IMmmboppedTaylorHanson, Taylor,” Zac hissed. 

Taylor couldn’t take his eyes off the phone screen where there was a picture of him sprawled out on his bed asleep, completely naked except for the white bedsheets twisted around his lower half, Sadie sitting up next to him, the comforter wrapped around her shoulders covering what he assumed was her still naked skin, holding the phone up above to get the both of them in the picture. She was smiling like she’d won a prize, and Taylor almost laughed knowing that in her mind, she probably had.

“How could you be this stupid?” Zac asked, snatching his phone out of Taylor’s hand. “I must have seen it the second it went up because it was only on the tumblr she apparently created to post it, but now it’s spreading. It’s on all the Facebook groups, it’s been posted and taken down almost a dozen times on HNet. This is-”

“Why do you care?” Taylor said quietly.

“What? Why do I care? Are you kidding me, Tay, this is-”

“Why do you care? The band is over. It’s not like I’m ruining our reputation because there is no us anymore.”

“This is about more than just the band. How long until you think Natalie sees this? Ezra? Penny? How do we explain this to the kids?”

“Don’t worry about my kids, I’ll handle it.”

“You seem to be handling things so well, Tay. You really do. Schlepping beers in a fucking bar downtown, sleeping with _fans_ who then show the whole fucking world-”

“The world doesn’t fucking care, Zac!” Taylor slammed his hands down on the bar. “The world hasn’t cared about us in a long time, this will circulate amongst the fans and then it’ll go away. It’ll go away.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Zac shook his head, pushing the stool back and getting up. “You’re a _mess_ , Taylor.”

Zac took two steps away from the bar and then stopped, turning back.

“By the way, in case you forgot…this was the scheduled weekend for Hanson Day. There are fans in town, a bunch of them. Good luck once they discover you’re working here.”

He turned again and stormed out of the bar, Taylor watching through the glass windows as he rounded the corner.

——

“Man, I feel like this is my fault,” Harry shook his head. “I never should have played matchmaker.”

“It’s not your fault,” Taylor leaned up against the cooler. He had pulled Harry into the kitchen to warn him that there would likely be fans dropping in once it was found out that he worked there now, and he also felt the need to let him know about Sadie. “I can’t believe I put myself in this position.”

“It could happen to anyone,” Harry shrugged. “Well, anyone who just recently disbanded a semi-popular band. So, like, not me. It couldn’t happen to me, but…” Taylor grinned while Harry tried to stifle a laugh. “Yeah, I guess it couldn’t really happen to anyone.”

Taylor groaned and leaned his head back, laughing despite himself. 

“I made it over two decades in the business without a single scandal. I spend two months in the real world and here we are.”

“Don’t let it get to you. At least your junk was covered in the picture. She could have been a real asshole and showed it to everyone.”

“Always looking on the bright side, Harry!” Taylor laughed again, lifting himself from the cooler. “I guess we better get back out there,” Taylor walked towards the door. “It’s only so long until the fans converge. I don’t know how many are in town, Zac just said a bunch,” he pulled the door open and then groaned, his eyes falling on the bar, every stool in front of it taken by females. They were leaning in, all chatting animately and laughing. The excitement in the room was palpable. “Well,” he turned back to Harry. They’re here.”

Harry walked to where Taylor was standing and laughed.

“That didn’t take long. Let’s get to it, I guess,” Harry swung the door the rest of the way open and stepped out, walking behind the bar. “Ladies and…ladies!” He clapped his hands and then opened his arms. “The attraction you’ve come looking for today is here, but I hate to inform you that he is also _working_ , so if you could allow my employee to do his job while you’re here, I’d appreciate that. If you can’t manage that, I suggest you find a different bar to patronize!” He looked over at Taylor and motioned him out of the kitchen. “Here he is, come one, come all, Taylor Hanson!” 

The girls in the bar all clapped and Taylor rolled his eyes, not able to help the smile that grew on his face. Leave it to Harry to make it tolerable that the life he was trying to escape was following him into his new one.

“Don’t forget to tip your bartenders!” Harry shouted, a grin covering his face. “Now, let’s get these ladies some drinks!”

——

The night went by fairly quickly, as soon as the rest of the fans in town were tipped off that Taylor was working the bar they’d all made their way there, filling almost the entire bar up. Harry had called in a favor from a friend who came and set up his DJ equipment, turning the night into an impromptu karaoke night. It was so loud and busy that no one really had time to ask Taylor what had happened or when the band would be back together again. They all did, however, ask him for selfies, which he graciously took with them, thanking them for sticking with Hanson all these years.

Just before eleven Taylor looked towards the end of the bar to see if anyone needed to be served and saw her. She was standing with on hand on the bar top, looking around the room with an amused look on her face. If Taylor had to guess, she wasn’t used to walking into a place and seeing the population be 99% female. 

“Hey,” he smiled when he finally reached the end of the bar, Layla turning to look at him, still with an amused smile on her face.

“Hey yourself, what the hell is going on here?”

“It’s-” Taylor looked around and then back at Layla, shaking his head. “I guess I never got around to telling you but, I’m…well. You see-”

“Taylor!” Taylor turned and saw a girl he faintly recognized from concerts and events over the years. She was leaning on the bar, tapping her debit card on the counter top. “Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to close my tab.”

“Sure, last name?” he smiled as the girl told him. “Be right back,” he said to Layla before turning and stopping in front of the register. He printed the girls check and brought it back to her. She wrote in a tip and then slid it back to him, smiling. 

“So, I hate to ask. I know you’re working,” she shook her head, still smiling. “But, I’ve tried to put in a couple of emails to support, and I’ve even PM’d Zac and no one is getting back to me. What does this band hiatus mean for Back to the Island? I already paid my room in full and I was just worried that-”

“I’m really not sure,” Taylor cut her off. “I’m not really…involved in what they’re doing with all of that. I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” the girl said, the smile dropping off of her face. “Okay. Well. Thanks,” she smiled again, but this time it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Um, do you think…could we,” she held her phone up and Taylor instantly knew what she wanted.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “Of course.”

She turned her camera on and Taylor took her phone, slinging an arm around her. He took the picture and handed her back her phone.

“Sorry you came all this way for nothing,” he gave a little shrug and she nodded, thanking him again and walking away. When he turned back to Layla her eyebrows were drawn together and she was shaking her head just slightly.

“Who _are_ you?” 

“Well,” Taylor laughed quietly. “You see, I was in this band for a long time. We kind of just broke up…we live here, though. This is, um…this is where I grew up and usually on this weekend every year we-”

“Oh my God,” she said, laughing. “What’s your last name?”

“Hanson,” he said and then mock winced, waiting for her reaction.

“Taylor Hanson,” she laughed again. “Ho-ly shit.”

“So, you’ve heard of me,” Taylor tried to make it funny, take it in stride. He should have just told her who he was from the beginning, he’d realized too late.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’ve heard of you.”

“Just do me a favor and don’t google me right now,” Taylor grinned, his attention being drawn away by a series of gasps, a loud chorus of voices ringing out, a bunch of the girls in the bar looking down at their phones and then at each other. “What the hell?” He mumbled, looking around as more and more of them took their phones out, their eyes shooting from their screens to Taylor and back again. He walked couple of steps down the bar and looked at the girls sitting there.

“Wanna tell me whats going on all of a sudden?”

“Well,” one of the girls bit her lip and held her phone up so Taylor could see the screen. Sadie had apparently posted a picture of the outside of Taylor’s house, along with his address, on Tumblr, letting everyone who was in Tulsa right then know exactly where they could find him if they wanted to.

“Shit,” he slapped the bar top and shook his head. “This is great.”

“Sorry,” the girl said, as if it were her fault. 

Taylor just nodded, walking back over to Layla. He took her elbow and lead her into the kitchen, making sure the door was closed behind them.

“Look, this is going to sound weird, and I’ll explain later, but…do you think I could possibly crash at your place tonight? I know we…I mean, I know I left in a weird way last time, and I’ll explain that too, I just…I can’t go home right now.”

“What?” Layla shook her head, her eyebrows drawn together again.

“Suddenly,” Taylor motioned towards the door. “Every girl out in the bar, and whoever else may be in town right now, knows where I live.”

“That’s unfortunate,” Layla looked out the small window on the door leading back into the bar and then back at Taylor. “I’d really love to help you, but I can’t. Not tonight. I’m actually getting on a plane at five in the morning, I-” she shook her head. “I have to go home for a couple of days. But,” she titled her head “when I get back…do you want to maybe get dinner? Hang out?”

“Is this because I’m Taylor Hanson,” he grinned. “Or because you had such a good time last time?”

“Maybe both,” she crinkled her nose up. “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

——

By the time closing time rolled around Taylor was more than ready to sit down and not get up until he absolutely had to. He had thought that being on stage for hours every night entertaining a crowd was exhausting, but running around a packed bar making sure everyone had full drinks and was satisfied all night was truly enough to make him want to sleep for two days.

The only problem was, he didn’t know where to go. He was sure that as soon as the fans left here, some of them would go and stakeout his house, at least go by and look at it, and he didn’t really want any part of that. As far as he was concerned he’d spent more than enough time with them tonight, especially since he wasn’t even _in_ the band anymore, never mind the fact that he’d been at work. 

When Harry found him in the kitchen, he was leaning up against the cooler staring down at his phone. His finger had been hovering over Zac’s name on the screen for a few minutes, his pride not allowing him to actually hit the button and call his little brother and ask for a place to stay. 

“Everything is cleaned and stocked and ready to lock up, you could have left,” Harry said, walking past Taylor to the fridge. He grabbed two bottles of water and tossed one to Taylor before uncapping his own.

“Only problem is, I have nowhere to go,” Taylor shrugged, opening his own bottle and taking a sip.

“What do you mean?”

“All those girls,” Taylor nodded towards the door. “Were given my home address tonight. So, I expect I’ll have company for the next couple of days.”

“Must be tough being a rockstar,” Harry grinned.

“Please,” Taylor rolled his eyes, twisting the cap back onto his water bottle. “I wouldn’t exactly call me Elvis.”

“Well, me either,” Harry laughed, walking past Taylor and swinging open the door. “Come on, you can stay with me until they all scatter back across the country.”


	5. Chapter 5

Taylor woke up to the sound of his phone ringing on the coffee table in front of the couch along with the smell of coffee brewing. He sat up slowly, rubbing sleep out of his eyes and swung his legs over the side of the couch. He could see Harry in the small kitchen off the side of the living room pulling coffee mugs down from the cabinet and placing them in front of the coffee maker. He looked up and met Taylor’s eyes, giving him a smile.

“Morning, sleepy head.”

“Morning,” Taylor grinned, standing up and walking into the kitchen. “Do you know how long it’s been since I woke up to coffee already being made?”

“Figured you could use some after last night. That was a bit crazy, huh?”

“We do this every year, I thought I was used to it. I guess I’m not used to being on the other side of the bar for it,” Taylor rolled his eyes, grabbing the coffee pot and filling the mugs. He pushed one towards Harry and picked up the other, blowing on it before taking a sip.

“It’s kind of crazy that they still came, all things considered,” Harry moved into the living room and sat down on the couch, Taylor following.

“Yeah, well,” Taylor shrugged. “We’d already announced the event, people had made travel arrangements. I can see why they’ve come. It’s worse when there isn’t an event happening and they just show up,” Taylor chuckled, drinking out of his mug.

“You think they’re going to be in the bar all day again?”

“Probably,” Taylor nodded. “I suspect they’ll be in the bar every day until Monday.”

“Well, at least we’ll be making some money,” Harry grinned, shrugging. “They weren’t so bad.”

“Yeah,” Taylor sighed. “I guess.”

“How do you feel about opening a little early? Noon instead of one?”

“I feel great about it…except for the fact that I don’t have any clean clothes,” Taylor motioned down at his body, still clad in yesterdays outfit. “That’ll be all over the Hanson-sphere.”

Harry laughed and then shook his head.

“Okay, give me your keys,” he stood up. “Text your address to my phone. I’ll go to your house and get you some stuff. How many days do you think you’ll be staying?”

“Until Monday, if you don’t mind,” Taylor frowned. He felt like a sudden burden on Harry. He had waltzed into his bar one day, looking to shake up his life, and now he was a boarder in his home. 

“Not at all,” Harry shrugged, taking the keys as Taylor picked them up from the coffee table and handed them to him. “It’s kind of nice having someone around.”

——

Harry living upstairs from the bar afforded Taylor the knowledge that at just ten in the morning, the fans were already milling about outside of the bar. Some of them were sat on the curb across the street, nursing coffees and keeping watch over the bar, some of them were just standing around, some were even peeking in the windows.

Taylor took it upon himself to utilize Harry’s shower. He took his time, basking in the hot water, preparing himself for the day ahead of him. He realized when he got out that he wouldn’t have any fresh clothes to change into until Harry returned, so he wrapped a towel around his waist and sat on the couch, scrolling through his phone. 

Zac’s name lighting up the screen shocked him a little and he almost didn’t answer, not in the mood for another round with one of his brothers. Before his mind could be made up, though, he hit the button and put the phone to his ear.

“Hey.”

“Where are you? I assume not at home.”

“I stayed at Harry - my bosses place last night.”

“Smart choice. Look, I was thinking, maybe I’ll come by the bar today, mingle a little, take the load off of you.”

“Yeah?” Taylor perked up, the thought of not shouldering all of the attention the fans were looking for on his own an instant relief. 

“Yeah, why not. It’s not like I’m doing anything.”

“Great, I think we’re opening early. Harry went to my place to grab me some clothes, I kind of stayed here on a whim last night.”

“You guys are getting close, huh?”

Taylor could hear something in Zac’s voice that he couldn’t quite recognize. If he didn’t know better he’d almost think it was jealousy.

“Yeah, I guess. He’s a good guy, it’s been a while since I made a friend who wasn’t sharing a stage with us or working on a song or album with us, it’s re-”

“I know, Tay. Your life was so hard. It sucked. We kept you hostage for-”

“I didn’t say that,” Taylor huffed. “Don’t do this, okay? I know you don’t get it, you don’t need to, I just don’t want to fight with you. Not you, too.”

“Have you talked to Ike?”

“No, I’m not really into being talked to like I’m a child.”

“You guys need to hash it out eventually,” Taylor could hear Zac’s sigh through the phone. “We can’t go on like this forever.”

“I know,” Taylor responded. He hated fighting with either of his brothers, they’d always been a unit. Sure, they fought from time to time, but they always came back together, smoothed things out. Taylor worried that without the band there as a reason to force them to make up, maybe they wouldn’t. The thought that this was the end of his and Isaac’s relationship, that it would be left permanently fractured, pierced him through the chest. “I’ll talk to him, I promise. Just, maybe after the weekend is over. I have a feeling I’m going to be followed around more than usual.”

“Yeah,” Zac laughed quietly. “They’ve been leaving me alone for the most part since they know where you are. So, thanks for that.”

Taylor laughed, the sound of Harry’s keys in the lock making him look up towards the door. Harry let himself in, holding up a backpack and smiling as he shut the door.

“Harry’s back. I’ll let him know you’re going to come by. Thanks for this, seriously.”

“When should I come by?”

“Couple of hours?”

“Great, see you later, Tay.”

——

There were more bodies in the bar than there had been the previous night, and Taylor was kept busy making drinks and refilling old ones. Harry had encouraged the patrons to also buy their bartenders drinks, so halfway through the night Taylor was feeling a warm buzz through his body, he felt like he could let loose a little bit and he was actually enjoying the festivities.

Zac had been there since right after they opened shop for the day, mingling with the fans and occasionally accepting a beer or a shot that was bought for him, which was pretty unlike him and Taylor almost enjoyed seeing his brother let loose more so than he was enjoying doing it himself. 

Layla had texted him a selfie of herself sitting on her mothers couch looking bored with, ‘hope you’re having fun in Hansonfanland,’ attached, so he’d sent her one back of him happily throwing back a shot. He wasn’t sure what, if anything, was going to come of this burgeoning friendship with her, but he found himself looking forward to her returning to Tulsa with the promise of hanging out. 

Taylor had almost thought that his newfound free life was going to be lonely, he was basically walking away from everything he’d known and all of the people who had inhabited his daily life, but he was pleasantly surprised to find that with that he was welcoming new people into his life that he probably wouldn’t have before, and it felt nice. 

The night was winding down, the fans trickling out of the bar slowly when Zac slid into a stool at the bar, a phone with a pink case on it in his hand.

“New favorite color?” Taylor grinned, filling up a glass with water and sliding it to Zac.

“It’s not my phone, it’s uh-” Zac turned and pointed to a girl a few tables away. “It’s hers, she just showed me this.”

He turned the phone around and handed it to Taylor, a frown on his face. It was a picture of Harry pulling his front door shut, a backpack slung over his arm. The caption attached making Taylor roll his eyes.

_Mystery man and Taylor’s new apparent boss seen leaving his house today with Taylor nowhere in sight. Maybe now that he’s free of that woman who called herself his wife all these years he’s exploring who he really is._

There were other comments on it, all varying levels of ridiculous and obscene, causing Taylor to shake his head and hand the phone back to Zac.

“That’s ridiculous. What is this, Gossip Girl? What is wrong with these people?”

“Beats me, looks like the Taylor is actually gay rumors are making a comeback, though,” Zac grinned and Taylor rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, why can’t they ever say you’re gay?”

“Look at me,” Zac puffed out his chest. “Of course I’m not gay. Plus, you’re way prettier than me.”

“Well, that’s true,” Taylor laughed. “No question there.”

“Hey!” Zac mock pouted. “You weren’t supposed to agree with me.”

Harry sidled up next to Taylor behind the bar then, reaching over him to grab an empty glass and filling it with water.

“What’s going on?”

“Someone took a picture of you leaving my house today,” Taylor shrugged, dropping his voice to a fake whisper. “They think we’re _doing it_.”

Harry widened his eyes, looking from Taylor to Zac and then back, “seriously?”

“They’ve been wanting Taylor to do it with a dude for a long time, man,” Zac shrugged. “Usually it’s me, at least you’re not his brother.”

“Man,” Harry said, taking three shot glasses and filling them with tequila. “You all live a weird life.”

“You could say that again,” Zac scoffed, smiling as the girl who’s phone he took slid onto the stool next to him. He handed it to her and thanked her for letting him borrow it, grabbing her tab when Harry slid it in front of her. “On me,” he smiled again. “Thanks for the intel.”

Harry slid a shot glass in front of each of them, holding his up. They clinked them together and shot them back, each of them slapping their glass down on the bar top in unison.

 

“I think it’s time for me to retire,” Zac stood up, looking at Taylor. “You think maybe we could meet at the office tomorrow? Maybe the three of us could throw something together for these people. I feel bad they came all this way to watch you sling beer.”

“I don’t know, Zac,” Taylor sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Just think about it, okay?” Zac pulled his wallet out and threw enough money to cover the girls tab onto the counter. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

 

Taylor and Harry spent the last hour of the bar being open closing out peoples tabs and cleaning up. They restocked all the booze they’d gone through over the night, and finally when the last stragglers had left, Harry locked the door, flipped the switch on the open sign and declared it was time to go upstairs. Taylor didn’t miss the way he grabbed a bottle of Jack off the shelf on the way by and found himself grinning as he followed him up the stairs to his apartment.

“I’m going to have a Jack and Coke,” Harry said, grabbing some glasses from the kitchen and plopping down on the couch next to Taylor. “Hold the Coke. You want one?”

“Sounds great,” Taylor laughed, kicking his shoes off. “Seriously, I’m sorry about this…you know, your bar turning into a Hanson Fan Convention.”

“It’s not that bad,” Harry shrugged, removing the cap from the Jack bottle and pouring a hefty amount into each glass. “It’s good for the tips, anyway.”

“They’re definitely good at spending money,” Taylor took the glass Harry held out to him. “Thank God.”

Harry leaned back on the couch, sipping the liquor in his glass. They were quiet for a few minutes, each of them unwinding from the day and adding to their already buzzed state.

“Sorry about that post on the internet, by the way,” Taylor looked over at Harry. “Anytime I start to get close with any guy it seems like they gather up ideas about there being more to our relationship than a friendship.”

“Good imaginations, huh?” Harry grinned, turning his head to look at Taylor.

“I’d say,” he shrugged. “Anyway, sorry. I’m used to them calling me secretly gay, but I hate that they do it to my friends.”

“It’s really not a big deal,” Harry lifted one shoulder and then dropped it. “Wouldn’t be the first time someone called me gay.”

“No?” Taylor tilted his head. “That’s weird.”

“It’s not that weird,” Harry smiled a little. “Considering the fact that I _am_ gay.”

“Oh,” Taylor froze with his glass halfway to his mouth. “I, uh - I didn’t. Um. _Oh_.”

“Is that,” Harry lifted an eyebrow, taking a swig of his drink. “A problem? I didn’t-”

“No,” Taylor said quickly, shaking his head. “No, of course not. I just didn’t know. I didn’t think that you…um. I just didn’t realize.”

“It’s not something I feel the need to announce,” Harry laughed quietly. “But, yeah. And honestly, if I’m going to make my internet rumor debut with some guy, you’re not a bad pick.”

Taylor laughed, shaking his head. He could think of worse people for him to be rumored to be with, too. Hell, he had been linked with worse. He lifted his glass to his mouth and emptied it, leaning forward and placing it on the coffee table. Before he could stop himself, or tell himself he’d better not say too much, he found himself talking.

“I’ve been with a guy,” he shrugged, leaning back on the couch. “Just the one. Guy, I mean. It was a long time ago, before I was married. I was really young and I was kind of doing some things I probably shouldn’t have been doing,” he looked over at Harry and shrugged again. “No one knows that. Not even my brothers. Maybe I was a little bit in love with him,” he shrugged again, looking away from Harry, but he could feel his eyes still on him.

“Yeah?” Harry asked quietly. “What happened? I mean, why didn’t you…pursue things with him?”

“I did, kind of,” Taylor turned to look at him again. “We…I guess you could say dated…for a little while. Not exclusively or anything, but we spent about a year calling each other up when we were in the same places, getting a little bit too drunk, definitely too high, and falling into bed together. Then Natalie ended up pregnant,” Taylor smiled a bit. “We weren’t exclusive either, we were really just getting to know each other and having fun. She,” Taylor sighed. “Man, she was always the best thing that had ever happened to me. So, I married her. We had a good life together, but it just wasn’t…right for either us.”

“Do you think about him?”

“Yeah,” Taylor nodded. “Sometimes. I don’t even know what he’s up to these days.”

“So…” Harry finished his drink and leaned forward, filling both of their cups back up as he spoke. “Are you…what? Bi? Straight with a side of fuck it? What?”

“I don’t know,” Taylor took the glass and shrugged. “I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Weird,” Harry breathed, lifting his glass to his lips again.

“What about you, have you ever been with a woman?”

“God, no,” Harry laughed. “There is nothing there that I’m after.”

Taylor laughed, the memory of the last woman he’d been with flashing through his mind. The way Sadie had claimed dominance over him and the picture of that in his head making his jeans grow a little tighter despite what she’d chosen to do after the fact. 

“The last girl I was with then uploaded a picture of me naked to the internet, so maybe you’re on the right track.”

Harry let out a laugh then, shaking his head and leaning back on the couch again. 

“Was it worth it, at least?”

“She _was_ really good,” Taylor reached down and adjusted his jeans, his body squirming a little. “Like, _really_ good.”

Harry eye’d him, his gaze drifting down to his jeans before quickly moving back up to his face, “memories getting to you?”

Taylor took in Harry’s lazy smile and the way his heavy lidded eyes were looking at him and swallowed hard, a sudden buzz starting in his ears. It had been a long time since he’d been attracted to a man and even longer since he’d been with one, but all of a sudden the fullness of Harry’s bottom lip and the sliver of chest showing through the unbuttoned top of his shirt caused his half erection to jump in his pants, the denim tightening even more over him.

Taylor lifted the glass to his mouth again, quickly swallowing the remaining liquid.

“Maybe,” his voice came out lower than he had expected it to. “Maybe it’s something else.”

“Something else?” Harry emptied his own glass and placed it on the table. “Like what?”

Taylor hadn’t realized how drunk he was until he felt his body moving all on it’s own, a faint _don’t do it_ sounding in his head as he leaned the top of his body over Harry and crushed their mouths together. Harry drew in a breath, his hand moving to Taylor’s chest and Taylor geared himself up to be pushed away harshly, but was surprised when Harry balled the fabric of Taylor’s shirt up in his fist and pulled him closer, his teeth grazing Taylor’s bottom lip before he moved his tongue into his mouth. 

Taylor took that as a green light, swinging one leg over Harry and straddling his lap, his hands moving down Harry’s body and sliding the button on his jeans open, his fingertips grasping the zipper to pull it down. 

Harry pulled away slightly, his own hands moving to Taylor’s jeans, “you sure about this?” He said huskily, undoing Taylor’s jeans quickly and sliding his hands inside the waist of them, his hands cupping Taylor’s ass.

“Yeah,” Taylor responded, leaning back in and attaching his mouth back to Harry’s.

Harry moved them quickly and easily so that Taylor was on his back on the couch, Harry’s body covering his own. Taylor shook the voice in his head away, knowing and deciding he didn’t care that hooking up with your boss was probably a mistake. 

It had been so long since Taylor had been touched in this way by a man, he found himself wrapped up in the feeling of his rough, calloused hands moving over his skin, the way his mouth felt just a little bit different than what he’d become used to. 

“One last chance to change your mind,” Harry whispered against Taylor’s ear before pulling the lobe in between his teeth, his hips grinding down onto Taylor’s as he did.

“No,” Taylor moved his hands down to Harry’s waist, pushing at his pants, smiling when Harry arched himself off of him so he could push them down. 

The next handful of minutes were a blur for Taylor. Harry’s hands and mouth were everywhere, little cries of pleasure were breaking up the quiet of heavy breathing and it took Taylor more than a few seconds to figure out that they were coming from himself, spurred on by Harry’s hand between his legs, his fingers working themselves in and out of him while his mouth was moving expertly over Taylor’s dick, his free hand pressed against Taylor’s stomach, keeping him down on the couch. Taylor was usually in control - dominant - but these last weeks had shown him that maybe that was part of his problem, maybe he needed to give up some of that control and see where it took him. 

As Harry slid up his body, his eyes connecting with Taylor’s, he decided to do just that. Nodding and dragging Harry’s mouth down to his when he asked if Taylor was ready, he felt something akin to an explosion as Harry pushed into him, his deep groan landing in Taylor’s mouth.

_Maybe this is what you needed,_ Taylor squeezed his eyes shut, willing the voice that had been leaving him alone for so long to stay away. Or maybe this is a huge mistake.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while between updates on this one, sorry to anyone who has been reading along. I'm hoping to have one more for you before I jump into Camp Nano on the first!

The next two days went by in a blur. The bar was completely packed at all times between opening and closing, Zac stopping by each day for a few hours to help take a little bit of the load off of Taylor. Isaac only stopped in the last night, looking like he was already half drunk and getting himself all the way there within an hour. He seemed to enjoy himself, milling about and chatting with the fans, even buying some of them drinks and paying the full tabs of others, but he did his best to make sure he was never in the same space as Taylor. It seemed to Taylor that he was going as far as to make sure he never even looked at him.

Each night when Harry and Taylor stumbled upstairs to Harry’s apartment over the bar, full tilt on all of the alcohol bought for them by the girls filling up the bar, they’d fall into Harry’s bed, quiet except for the sounds they drew out of each other while their bodies moved together, their sex hasty and quick and needy and not altogether gentle. Taylor would leave Harry’s bed and go to the couch to sleep after. They never talked about it, instead pretending like nothing ever happened to them in the late hours of the night after far too many free drinks. 

The night after all of the fans left the area was much calmer and Taylor was happy when he saw Layla walk into the bar and slide into a stool at the end of it. When she met his eye she smiled, and he was surprised to feel a tiny flock of butterflies release into his stomach. 

“You’re back,” he smiled, placing a napkin down in front of her. “What can I get you?”

“It was just a quick trip,” she nodded, adding on that she’d just take a beer. He walked to the cooler and grabbed her one, releasing the cap and placing it down on the napkin. “All of your devoted public go home?”

“Yeah,” Taylor chuckled, shaking his head. “It was quite a ride.”

“Sorry I missed it,” Layla took a long sip of her beer, setting it down just as her phone lit up on the bar top. She grabbed it and frowned, typing something quickly before shutting the screen off and putting it face down.

“Everything alright?” Taylor grabbed a glass and filled it with water, taking a sip and placing it underneath the counter.

“Yeah, just-” Layla waved her hand in front of her face. “Stuff back home. Nothing, really.”

The bell over the door chimed and Taylor looked over to see a very tired looking Zac walk in. He made his way to the bar and stood next to the stool Layla was sitting on, looking over at Taylor.

“Can we talk?”

“Sure, you want something to-”

“No, we just need to talk. Privately.”

Layla looked over at Zac and lifted an eyebrow and then back at Taylor, shrugging.

“Zac, this is Layla,” Taylor motioned towards Layla and then back at Zac. “My brother, Zac.”

“Hi,” Layla smiled softly, picking her phone back up. “Don’t mind me, I’m just here to get a little day drunk.”

Zac took her in for a second and then laughed softly.

“Sounds tempting, honestly,” he looked back at Taylor. “I really need to get some sleep, I’ve been at the office all night. Can we-”

“Yeah,” Taylor nodded. “Alright.”

Taylor grabbed Layla another beer, popping the top and sliding it to her, then he motioned at Zac to follow him into the kitchen. Once they were safely shut away, Taylor leaned against the cooler and tilted his head to the side, ready for whatever Zac was going to throw at him.

“Do you want the bad or the worst first?” Zac leaned against the stainless steel prep table across from the cooler, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You pick,” Taylor shrugged. He was sure whatever it was wasn’t something that could shock him at this point.

“Okay, well,” Zac sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. “Isaac has had the lawyers draft up a demand letter. It’s coming here certified mail…probably today. I wanted to warn you before you got it.”

“A demand letter?”

Zac nodded, “yeah. Basically he’s forcing you to sit down and settle the business. He doesn’t want to buy you out, he basically wants to force you out. Something about abandonment of responsibilities and-”

“Whatever,” Taylor sighed. “Whatever. You guys can have it. I’m not-”

“You don’t understand,” Zac groaned. “Once this is done, Taylor…there isn’t any coming back from it. If you force his hand into doing this, your life with Hanson and with the label…with anything that has to do with the band, going back to the beginning, is over. He wants us to sue you to recoup the cost of the weekend. He’s got Cains and The Vanguard on board to come after you for failure to deliver on contracts. This is going to be a mess if we can’t figure it out between us.”

“What do you suggest I do?” 

“Honestly? I suggest you work out whatever,” Zac waved his hand at Taylor. “All of this is. Figure it out and get over it. This is our lives work, Tay. What are we supposed to do now?”

“I don’t know,” Taylor shrugged. “Get a job? I did it.”

“You’re tending bar, Tay!” Zac hissed. “You’re a GRAMMY nominated musician and you’re tending bar!”

“And you’re living in the same circle year in and year out. Just admit it, Zac, we lost it. We lost the spark, we lost the inspiration, we were going with the motions.”

Zac frowned, his forehead crinkling and his eyebrows drawing together. 

“I don’t feel that way,” he shrugged, pushing himself off the prep table. “I’m sorry we’re not keeping things exciting enough for you.”

Zac turned away from Taylor and walked out of the back room. Taylor called after him, but he just shook his head and kept walking. When Taylor entered the bar Zac was gone and he frowned, realizing he’d had two things to tell him, but had only told him one of them. He had to assume that what he’d been told was the worst, and decided he’d call his brother later to hear the rest. 

Business picked up in the bar shortly after, all the locals relieved that the fans had seemingly left town and they could assume their usual places at the bar. Taylor didn’t stop until about five minutes before close when he leaned on the counter across from Layla and slid a glass to water towards her.

“You look like you could use this,” he smiled, covering his mouth while he yawned.

“Know what I could use?” Layla smiled up at him through her bangs, drawing the glass of water towards her and sipping it from the straw Taylor had placed in it.

“What’s that?” Taylor grinned, thinking that the rosy tone of her cheeks that the alcohol had brought out was pretty cute on her.

“A fuck, Taylor,” she deadpanned, shrugging a shoulder. “I could really use a good fuck. Know anyone?”

Taylor blanched at her bluntness, busying himself with wiping down the bar top in order to not meet her eyes.

“I’m not usually so forward,” she laughed. “But you know, once you’ve already fucked a guy, you might as well just be blunt about it when you want to do it again.”

“Blunt is one way to put it,” Taylor laughed quietly, finally tossing the rag he was using down and looking at Layla. Despite the words she’d chosen to use, she looked the picture of innocence sitting before him, all big eyes and pink cheeks. He swallowed and then nodded his head. “Just give me five minutes to close up.”

 

—

 

Taylor stumbled into the bar the next day only minutes before it was time to open. He moved quickly through the slightly dark area towards the kitchen, clutching his much needed coffee cup in his hand. Just as he went to push the kitchen door open, it opened on it’s own, Taylor and Harry almost colliding into each other.

“Taylor,” Harry gasped and then frowned. “You didn’t come ho- you didn’t stay at my place last night. I tried to call.”

“Oh, yeah,” Taylor shrugged, yawning. “I crashed at Layla’s place. I should have told you. My phone died before I even got there.”

“Oh,” Harry said, staring at Taylor for a second before moving past him into the bar and flipping the overhead lights on. “You’re late,” Harry said, sliding all of the protective covers off of the liquor bottles spouts and tossing them in a bucket. 

“Yeah,” Taylor said quietly. “Sorry, man, I just…we overslept, we were up late and I had to rush to get a coffee-”

“It’s almost two in the afternoon,” Harry cut in. “Overslept it an understatement.”

“What’s your problem?” Taylor asked, shaking his head. “I’m here. I was only ten minutes late.”

“Ten minutes is ten minutes,” Harry shook his head, not looking at Taylor. “Don’t let it become a habit or I’ll have to reconsider your place here.”

Taylor stared at Harry’s profile for a few seconds, opening and closing his mouth. He’d never been late before, he couldn’t understand why Harry was having such a bad reaction to him being ten minutes behind schedule. 

“Alright,” he finally said. “Sorry.”

He walked into the backroom and washed his hands, drying them throughly before walking back into the bar. He opened his mouth to expand on his apology to Harry when the bell above the door chimed. He looked up to see Isaac walking towards him, a manilla envelope in his hand.


End file.
